Just a fleeting thought, it may change.
The key to being happy is being completely oblivious. Why? Because if you don’t know, how can you care? It makes sense.
My Papa :)
He has dementia.
He knows our names and faces, but he gets us all jumbled up.
We’re all still in there somewhere. <3
OH CRAP.
Below, you will find a list of things that I’ve learned this past summer as well as early this fall.
- I’m pretty good at crossing rivers and fishing. I was one of two who caught a fish when my friends & I went fishing.
- Random adventures are the greatest.
- He was the perfect acquisition as a result of my lowered inhibition. I’m happy I met him. He made me aware of so many things I wasn’t before. Things such as:
1. Friends with benefits isn’t just friends who have sex. It’s friends giving free rides here and there, friends hooking it up with free weed. Where were my benefits? Or was my benefit the sex we rarely had? I wish I could commend him on his excellent play on words. What a douche.
2. My heart got broken. I’m kind of happy it did because it woke me up. It made me realize what I was doing. I was sweeping everything under the rug and not dealing with it. Of course I could say I was dealing with it by drinking, but that’s not dealing with it at all. It’s just trying to hide it by having a supposedly good time. I will stop overdoing it when I drink and I will not drink when I am feeling down and out.
3. I will stop pushing people who want to be in my life away; and I will stop trying to pull people closer to me, because, well… I guess that’s the same thing; pushing them away. I can’t say much more about that.
— Okay, done with that; other things I’ve learned:
- I shall always read the fine print on things and read them over carefully. I missed a deadline and I think I may have reeeeally screwed myself over.
- I never listen. I always learn things the hard way. Maybe I will start listening when people tell me things.
- Our Lady Peace (the band, you fools.) can fix anything. I love them.
- I love my family waaaayyyy more than I put off and I’m sorry for that. I’m kind of an asshole, but you guys all know that already… hahaha
- I can still smile when things have been going wrong, and I can still pull positive out of it. Case in point? Everything choice you make, no matter how small, has a result… and every result is some sort of lesson, even in the tiniest way.
- I do want to live.
Things I’ve learned in the Sault so far…
- Not all dogs are going to heaven.
- Minute rice tastes like ass. Real rice is where it’s at.
- This program is probably going to be easier than I’m making it out to be and a little harder than I think it’ll be. If that makes any sense.
round here
i sleep in my bed alone every night.
you’ve never been in it..
but i still miss your touch.
even though i probably shouldn’t…
See these pins here? Well, I’m giving ‘em away! That’s right folks. This completely pointless brand distribution promotion is totally out of my furry little pocket. Why? Because it makes people smile. And really, if you don’t do that you should probably just give up now.
So… here’s the deal. Reblog this post. When I hit 50 reblogs (Hey, that’s moderate. I only have 50 followers)… I will draw a random name and send you a little PRIDE MAIL.
JB
to whom it may concern;
Of course I’m fucked. It’s because of people like you. People who were fucked even before I was. You probably called me names, which made me very self-conscious. You probably shot looks my way while you giggled with your friends off in the corner and it made my mind race, I always wondered what was wrong with me. You probably made plans with everyone in our group and “forgot” to invite me. I felt so excluded. You probably gave everyone else in class a Valentine’s Day card except me, which made me feel ugly. You probably never spoke a word to me, yet you thought I was weird and you told everyone so, which resulted in my having not a lot of friends and feeling so alone. You probably heard I had a crush on you and you rejected me in public, resulting in me fearing rejection and thinking nobody would ever want me. You always picked me last during gym class and it made me afraid to try sports and it made me think I sucked so bad.
Kids are mean.
Hopefully you’ve grown up a little since then. If not, you’re fucked.
Sincerely,
Me.
Guilt.
You may have washed the blood from your hands, but it’s still on your conscience and I hope it eats away at you every single day for the rest of your petty existence… you are nothing and you know it.
words that rhyme.
— I wrote this a while ago, when I was feeling all sad and alone in my home…
Home
home isn’t a place where you reside.
it’s not where your parents say the door is always open.
it’s not where your from, where you hang your jacket
or take off your boots.
it’s not where you recognize all the faces
and know all the secret places.
home isn’t where you crawl in to bed
and have a good nights rest.
you could be in a house on a hill…
with everyone you know…
and not know where home is.
**************************************
— This, I wrote about an old house in my back yard…
It doesn’t have a name…
the boards are old and weathered
and the floor is packed
the dirt it’ll tell you stories
of who’s been there and back
my friends and i, we’ve had some grand adventures
and the walls, they know them all
they have stories from all 4 seasons,
winter, spring, summer and fall
it’s leaked all kinds of snow and rain
and a ray or two of sun..
but it’s never let a secret slip
of our times of fun
